I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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