I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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