it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
