I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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