We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
