Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
