Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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