Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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