she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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