The maid of honor just puked.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
