I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
