I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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