People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
