I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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