just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
