look no pants
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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