And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
