Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
