I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
