Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He told me they were just razor bumps!
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
