There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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