at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
A bitchslap is in order.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
