Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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