Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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