I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
