he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
