You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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