I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
