New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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