I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
