In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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