I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
