is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
