I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
