doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
