I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
