She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
