i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
