time to smoke my breakfast
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
