nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
