garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
All I want is dick and wine.
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