I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
