It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Just puked most of my soul out..
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
