Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
