so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
