i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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