Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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