I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
