so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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