I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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